Author: Jack Newhorse

  • Bit o’ fun looping Airplane Dragons by Passenger Princess!

    Original by Passenger Princess is here. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

    Video of Jack looping Airplane Dragons

  • Mirror of Tom Lehrer’s music

    Tom Lehrer performing in Copenhagen, 1967
    Tom Lehrer performing in Copenhagen, 1967 (CC-0)

    If you don’t know Tom Lehrer, you should! He was an amazing musical parodist/comic — perhaps the finest who ever lived, although (IMHO) some of the modern crop (Bo Burnham, Bill Bailey, Tim Minchin) give him a run for the money. A good starting point is his famous 1967 concert in Copenhagen, available in full on YouTube.

    Anyway, he released all his music — recordings, sheet music, everything — into the public domain in 2022, at tomlehrersongs.com. “Mike Z.” made it easy to mirror this site on their github page, so I did just that. My mirror is at https://tomlehrer.tgeller.com. Enjoy!

    (My family has some connection to Mr. Lehrer, by the way: My parents were students in the Boston area when he was first making a splash. I believe they got to see him perform during this time, and I grew up with his albums playing during dinner.)

  • 1 August 2026: ambient set

    Jack Newhorse playing live ambient trombone at a private outdoor event

    Excerpts from a set at a private camping event.

    Live Ambient #1, 1 August 2026
    Live Ambient #2, 1 August 2026
    Live Ambient #3, 1 August 2026

    Setup:

    • Trombone with Silent Brass mute connected to a Sennheiser wireless transmitter
    • Akai MPK Mini Play mkiii (25-key) keyboard
    • Boss RC-505mkii looper
    • Headset mic
  • Purple Clouds 2026

    Jack with WORLDWIDEWOLF at Purple Clouds 2026
    Photo by Bytefighter

    I was honoured to be part of the second Purple Clouds, a furry music festival at a swinger campground in Hude, Germany. In a very real way this was my debut; I want to talk about what it meant to me.

    First, the details. My main gig there was accompanying DJ WORLDWIDEWOLF on trombone and voice as he spun liquid drum ‘n’ bass. We’d done this fairly spontaneously at Aural Alliance in 2024; this time, I was on the bill. He even came all the way from Braunschweig (DE) to my place in Rotterdam (NL) to rehearse!

    I’ve always been something of a musical loner. Honestly, I hoped I’d become one of those solo artists known for forging their own path. But in truth all those maverick types collaborated. Those I admire most — Björk and Bobby McFerrin, for example — are actually the most collaborative. I also realised that I love spontaneously playing along with recordings — or, better, live musicians. (My theory background really helps here: Once I pick up the chord changes it’s just a matter of listening and playing idiomatically.)

    Jack playing solo ambient on trombone at Purple Clouds 2026
    Photo by MiaTortiaa

    But to find those collaborators, you first need to pique their interest by showing what you can do. I’d quietly tried a few streams on my Twitch channel but didn’t feel any of those performances held together; I didn’t want to be judged by them, so I hid them all. But playing live… that’s the stuff.

    At Purple Clouds I played three times. First, an unannounced, off-the-cuff solo ambient set at the end of Friday’s program, at 3am. This was on trombone and my little Akai MPK Mini Play MK3, with lots of reverb throughout. This really caught everybody’s attention. Although nobody was in the stage/dance area, it could be heard throughout the 400-person camp, and some even came from their tents to see what was happening. I got lots of positive comments. (My favourite was from someone who said it sounded like they were in VRChat.) As far as I know there’s no recording of the whole thing, but here’s a snippet.

    Video by DeJay

    The second gig was at 1400 on Saturday, with WORLDWIDEWOLF. We make a good team! I have criticisms of my own performance but you know what? You can come to your own conclusions. Here’s the set. I’d love to hear what you thought of it in my Telegram chat.

    WORLDWIDEWOLF x Jack Newhorse at Purple Clouds, 18 July 2026.

    Finally was an impromptu party at Howlheim, a group of Germans with their own little tent community in the corner of the campground. I’d had my ear open for music I could play along with and when I heard traditional German “oom-pah” music (as it’s called in America), I knew I had to be a part of it. So I asked them if it would be O.K., got my trombone, and came back to play for an hour with their DJ. It was fun!

    I could write quite a lot more about it and maybe I will later. (In short: well run, leaky tent, pretty sober crowd, lots of nudity and sex.) It was the right place for me, and I’m glad I went. Thanks to Keenora and ALL the Purple Clouds staff & volunteers for making it happen!

  • Appropriate WordPress writing prompt

    Daily writing prompt
    If you had to be an animal for a week, which one would you be and why?

    I already am an animal.

  • Introducing DJ Newhorse

    Hey, gang. It’s strange that I don’t know who you are, reading this. But you’re here, so you seem to know who I am. Anyway…

    I’ve been making music for as long as I can remember. I took the classical path. We had a piano near the TV, so I’d play during commercials. My school district had a pretty good music program; I went to music camp in the summer and eventually to music college (“conservatory”) in Ohio.

    Lately I’ve realised how much I benefitted from the musical platforms this upbringing gave me. There was always an orchestra, jazz band, choir to perform in. Then there weren’t; I swam into adulthood and did other things. I played for myself in spurts a few times a year. I gigged a little with bands — New Orleans, Balkan, jazz standards, etc.. Played in the orchestra for musicals, that kind of thing. It’s been fine.

    But I never put together an “act”. I don’t know why. Maybe growing up with all those great platforms left me without the skills to build my own. Around 2024 I decided to start developing those skills. I bought a looper; I studied DAWs and such. The process made me recognise which parts I liked doing and was good at, and which I didn’t and wasn’t. As I learned more about modern styles and techniques, the more I wanted to get back on stage.

    I got to play with DJ WORLDWIDEWOLF at the Aural Alliance Festival and thought it would be great to play with more DJs. Then I bought a DJ controller at an auction for €35, Arkifel suggested I learn Mixxx… and here we are.


    I’d like to shout out to some of the other DJs and musicians who have gotten me to this point. First, all the DJs who showed how it’s done at Otterdance:

    • 5: Arkifel, Vegaz, Stoeipoes, Refferic
    • 4: Arkifel, AlphaRacc, Lynn Drumm
    • 3: Gothicat, Arkifel, Saigai, Mallard, Menos, Tigris, Lynn Drumm
    • 2: Gothicat, Mayk, Vegaz, Lynn Drumm
    • 2022: Jaffa, Duzzled, Lynn Drumm

    With special shouts to:

    …and many, many furs along the way.

  • Music video: “I’m Feeling Isolated”

    A song for our times, with apologies to The Ramones.

    And here it is without swearing:

    Lyrics released as CC-BY: You’re free to make derivative works (and please do!), giving credit to “Jack Newhorse, jacknewhorse.com”.

    A version without that one swear word is at https://youtu.be/V_hdh6uQoJ8.


    LYRICS

    I’m Feeling Isolated
    Parody of Ramones “I Wanna Be Sedated”

    2020 you can go fuck yourself oh,
    I’m feeling isolated
    Nothing to do, no where to go oh
    I’m feeling isolated
    Living at a distance, feeling really rough
    Virtual massages don’t do near enough
    Working in my undies, working in the buff
    Oh no oh oh oh oh

    2020 you can go fuck yourself oh,
    I’m feeling isolated
    Nothing to do, no where to go oh
    I’m feeling isolated
    Sitting in the kitchen, don’t know what to do
    Nothing for me inside and nothing outside too
    Drink another coffee and make another poo
    Oh no oh oh oh oh

    2020 you can go fuck yourself oh,
    I’m feeling isolated
    Nothing to do, no where to go oh
    I’m feeling isolated
    Nation full of dummies, sunburn on their tongues
    Crowding on the beaches, heads all up their bungs
    Can’t say that I’ll miss them when they’re coughing up their lungs
    Oh no oh oh oh oh

    2020 you can go fuck yourself oh,
    I’m feeling isolated
    Nothing to do, no where to go oh
    I’m feeling isolated
    Time for introspection, don’t like what I see
    Thought I’d write a novel or smash the bourgeoisie
    Instead I sit around playing Final Fantasy
    Oh no oh oh oh oh

    Ba ba baba, baba ba baba, I’m feeling isolated
    Ba ba baba, baba ba baba, I’m feeling isolated
    Ba ba baba, baba ba baba, I’m feeling isolated
    Ba ba baba, baba ba baba, I’m feeling isolated

  • “Rotterdamse Bar”: Song for voice & piano

    Written in mixed English and Dutch with a specific singer in mind. (Thanks to friends Rosann and Conner for checking the Dutch.)

    © 2019 Tom Geller, all rights reserved.


    LYRICS

    VERSE I

    The sun glides low above the harbor
    of the Maritime Museum
    Where boats and cranes bear testament to the past
    I dream of the days of the harbortimes
    Of the noise and the filth and the petty crimes
    Een noodzakelijk overlast.

    The wind blows cold over the sailors
    with a whispered “Carpe diem”
    The fading sun gives way to the evening star
    They dream of success in the coming days
    Of the hope of a chance of a loving gaze
    Als zij lopen naar de Rotterdamse Bar.

    CHORUS

    Rotterdamse bar by the harbor
    Rotterdamse bar in de wijk
    You take in every hard-working person
    The sweating, sad, exhausted and cursing
    Whom everyday life will verbeter or worsen
    We werken allen hard, geen gezeik

    VERSE II

    The boats and cranes are all silent now
    by the Maritime Museum
    Examined only by tourists and children in from school
    For each there are a thousand more
    That never made it to this shore
    Vergeten en nu zonder levensdoel.

    Each day I walk past the quiet
    of that watery mausoleum
    Off to work like those sailors now obsolete
    I hope that some in a future time
    Will remember me as an paradigm
    Zal ik gekozen worden of niet?

    CHORUS

    Rotterdamse bar by the harbor
    Rotterdamse bar in de wijk
    You take in every hard-working person
    The sweating, sad, exhausted and cursing
    Whom everyday life will verbeter or worsen
    We werken allen hard, geen gezeik

    BRIDGE

    Alledaagse mensen
    In de hedendaagse tijd
    Alledaagse zorgen
    Eeuwigdurende, eeuwigdurende strijd

    VERSE III

    The ghosts glide low above the harbor
    of the Maritime Museum
    I know that mine will join them any day
    I hope they’ll see me as I am
    And will welcome me to Rotterdam’s
    Meest mysterieuze maatschappij

    The harbor will soon be transformed again
    in an endless industream
    To life as it is we must say an au revoir
    Our names they will almost all forget
    Every day the daily sun will set
    Maar wij hebben toch de Rotterdamse Bar

    CHORUS

    Rotterdamse bar by the harbor
    Rotterdamse bar in de wijk
    You take in every hard-working person
    The sweating, sad, exhausted and cursing
    Whom everyday life will verbeter or worsen
    We werken allen hard, geen gezeik
    We werken allen hard, geen gezeik
    We werken allen hard, geen gezeik

  • “Nothing and Nowhere”: Song for voice & piano

    Written in response to a friend’s post on FetLife — and a lifelong fascination with how our lives are affected by our bodies and how they’re seen — I wrote this song. It might be the opener for a musical that’s brewing in my head.

    LYRICS

    VERSE I

    From a thought in a head to a dot in an egg in your mother
    Then it grows and divides as its code overrides ev’ry other
    Chaos springs from that initial condition
    Despite all of your prayin’ and wishin’

    Maybe you’ll get a start with a hole in your heart (nonmetaphorical)
    Or with bowels you distrust causing howls and your life is deplorable
    Ev’ry part of your anatomy delivers
    Ways to baffle all your future caregivers

    CHORUS I

    We all come from the same place
    And that place is nothing and nowhere
    Occupying a distinct space
    From the insect to the giant polar bear
    And the taste of your tongue
    How you smell when you’re young
    How your muscles are strung
    And how well you are hungry
    For knowledge and life
    Whether you want a wife
    Whether you handle strife
    Or will fall on your knife
    Your body says
    Your body knows
    And in the end
    Your body will be
    Back to nothing

    VERSE II

    And when you go outside are you true? Do you hide from the masses?
    Do they stare or find fault? Do they care? Is it salt or molasses?
    Do you garner attention remotest?
    Or complete ev’ry journey unnoticed?

    And when you raise your voice, meet their gaze, make a choice, do they hear you?
    When you talk, do you boom? When you walk in a room do they fear you?
    Embryology defines your limits
    Then the world determines your place in it

    CHORUS II

    We all come from the same place
    And that place is nothing and nowhere
    Occupying a distinct space
    From the insect to the giant polar bear
    And the way that they treat you
    Whenever they meet you
    They might try to cheat you
    Or maybe complete you
    They surmise your mass
    To determine your class
    And the brass of your sass
    From your presence, alas
    Your body says
    Your body shows
    And in the end
    Your body will be
    Back to nothing

    BRIDGE

    Temporarily healthy
    Temporarily thrive
    Temporarily able
    Temporarily alive

    VERSE III (partial) & CLOSING

    From a thought in your head maybe not, then you’re dead; well, not living
    Much as you will conclude, like this tune, pretty soon unforgiving
    To nothing
    Nothing
    Nothing
    Temporary life